Summertime Blues

When the final whistle blows on the 2016/17 season at the UEFA Champions League Final in Cardiff next Saturday, and Juventus (please let it be Juventus and spare us all the strutting and posturing of Cristiano Ronaldo) are crowned, we will be plunged into the deep, dark, 8-week-long, football-less abyss of Summertime. Yes, there will be WLS Women’s football and, I dare say, Eurosport will have exclusive coverage of the Under 7’s World Cup, or something, but it just won’t be the same. So, what options and offerings will tide us over, semi-sanely, to the second week of August?
• ICC Champions Trophy (June 1 to 18) – It’s cricket. Ideal if you are involved in a serious accident which leaves you bed-ridden. (This is a purely hypothetical accident so, please, injury lawyers, don’t call me.)
• The British and Irish Lions’ Tour of New Zealand (June 3 to July 8) – 10 grueling encounters with the alarm clock and a feast of early morning rugby with your local pub offering breakfast-and-a-pint deals to start the day off properly.
• US Open (June 15 to 18) and UK Open (July 20 to 23) – Golf Majors. Very enjoyable, like cricket, if you enjoy watching people whack a ball around a field with a stick.
• The Tour de France (July 1 to 23) – Lots of blokes in lycra, riding up and down mountains in France (although it starts in Dusseldorf – annexed in WWII?) while spectators partake in a game of chicken, dashing back and forth across the road in front of the oncoming riders.
• Wimbledon (July 3 to 16) – Tennis. Since the prospect of Sir Cliff singing again prompted the All England Club to put a roof over Centre Court, we can now enjoy the Women’s Grunting Championship uninterrupted.
• World Athletics Championships (Aug 4 to 13) – bringing us neatly home, it’s just like the Olympic Games but without a whole week of rowing and cycling crap first!
Roll on August 12!

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